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The Adventures of SpaceGoat and Friends



Older than any known civilization, the Goatinian Empire once spanned the globe, reaching from coast to coast to yet other coasts and even other coasts further away until it once again wrapped around to the same coast where it started. And not only did this empire cover the earth in surface area alone. The empire stretched through and above as well as around.

Subterranean goats with specially evolved spade-shaped horns for digging, riddled the earth with tunnels, and shafts, eventually leading to mines where the riches of mother earth were exploited and turned into vast wealth and power.

Still other goats evolved with the sea as their home. They were unrivaled in their watery world for speed and agility. Not even the most powerful land dwelling goats would challenge them there, but if it was necessary for them to come ashore, they were seagoats out of water - helpless, and at the mercy of their landlubbing bretheren.

Despite the rugged adaptability of the goats, they failed to evolve wings or other means of aerial locomotion. Yet this did not stop the Goatinian Empire from ruling the skies. Giant birds capable of carrying one or many goats were selectively bred and eventually perfected as an ideal means of patrolling the empire from above.

With the earth firmly in their grasp, the goats of the Goatinian Empire were confident in their domain. This, however, would not last.

Quietly, a new species evolved. Slowly they learned. Their numbers grew. They developed fire, tools, and eventually a civilization of their own. But the single thing that this new species developed that the goats did not anticipate, was domestication.

This new species was man, and he domesticated every creature he found. Dogs, pigs, birds, and even the distant cousins of the goats, the sheep. But in their pride the goats failed to realize that they too were susceptible to domestication. They failed to recognize the ability of man to topple their great empire and domesticate them as easily as their stupid cousins.

And so it was that the Goatinian Empire crumbled under the heel of domestication. Not without resistance, however, and not without great losses on both sides. But despite the great efforts of the goats, their empire fell, and man became their master.

This is the story of one goat. Long after the reign of the Goatinian Empire had ended and the struggle against domestication had been forgotten, one mountain goat, ignorant of all that had come before, discovered his heritage and set out on a quest of vengeance so brutal none would soon forget his wrath. The Goatinian Empire would rise again!

...Or would it?

Copyright © 1997-2021 Brendan Andersen